


I Won't Say I'm In Love

by ereshai



Series: Various Prompt Fills [48]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Getting Together, Good Omens Kink Meme, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Jealousy, M/M, Other, Prompt Fill, Sort Of, Surveillance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21513457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ereshai/pseuds/ereshai
Summary: Based on this prompt:"During a meeting with Beelzebub Gabriel starts sensing feelings of love radiating from the Prince of Hell, which makes the archangel really jealous because he secretly carried a torch for them for a few years. He decides to find out who it is Beelzebub loves and break them up. Of course he is too oblivious to notice it's him. Meanwhile Beelzebub notices Gabriel's weirder-than-normal behaviour and starts to suspect that he might have somebody....which can't be allowed."This is sort of that.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: Various Prompt Fills [48]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/116044
Comments: 18
Kudos: 119





	I Won't Say I'm In Love

**Author's Note:**

> I hesitated to post this for a few reasons - new-to-me fandom (will anyone read it? will anyone like it? the usual); it's for a prompt on a kink meme and it has zero kink in it (unless you count that one line); I haven't been writing, much less finishing, any fics lately; I don't want to do all the fiddly coding for the footnotes; it's barely edited; etc, etc.  
> So I'm posting anyway. (I didn't do the footnote coding.)

Gabriel stood in front of one of the window walls of the Observation Room. Beelzebub stood next to him, humming slightly as they usually did. They were both checking up on Aziraphale and Crowley - those two were bound to cause more trouble for Heaven and Hell and Gabriel for one was not going to be caught unaware when it came. Beelzebub obviously agreed, because they showed up whenever Gabriel sent them an official communique regarding Heaven's use of the room, which was considered neutral territory. That was the only reason he hadn't yet smited the Prince of Hell, of course*. 

> *He hadn't smited them any of the 37 times they’d encountered each other. Only a dozen of those encounters had involved sharing the Observation Room.

Beelzebub was watching Crowley intently. Gabriel was not expending as much energy on Aziraphale - all he ever did was handle moldy old books and eat ridiculous amounts of food and drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol while having ridiculous conversations with Crowley. At least Crowley would do something interesting every once in awhile - the threats he used on his plants were very creative - but it was hard to determine what Beelzebub was gaining from such close observation.

Gabriel crossed his arms and sighed. This was boring. Surveillance was not his department, but he wasn’t going to hand this off to another angel. Because… Because.

An immense wave of love swept through the room, almost rocking him back in his heels. 

"What was that?" He looked around for the source, but of course it was only the two of them. Sandalphon was out in the hallway with one of Beelzebub's beetle demons, assuming he hadn't destroyed it yet*. Obviously Gabriel wouldn't feel a sudden wave of love coming from himself, so that left…

> *The hallway was not neutral territory and Sandalphon was fond of smiting. What? There were plenty of demons and these particular lackeys all looked alike. Hell probably didn't even notice. 

"What wazz what?" Beelzebub was staring at Crowley with even more intensity than usual.

"Love." He looked at Beelzebub expectantly. "A lot of it, in fact. Is there something you'd like to tell me?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Beelzebub tugged at the bottom of their jacket, straightening out the few wrinkles and creases so viciously that they did not reappear. "There'zz nothing more to learn here,” they said as they turned away.

Gabriel frowned. While they usually didn’t get anything useful from the surveillance, they did take a little* more time to determine that, and they hadn’t been here very long.

> *A lot.

Beelzebub paused by the opposite wall. “Until nexzzt time?”

“Of course,” Gabriel replied, still puzzled. “I’ll have my people contact your people.”

They nodded and a door opened in the middle of the glass, revealing Sandalphon and a pile of ashes on the floor. After a moment, the ashes disappeared with a flick of Beelzebub’s hand and then they were striding away. Sandalphon shrugged.

“I’ll be right out,” Gabriel told him and the door swung shut.

He examined the scene displayed on the glass. Nothing new or exciting going on there, just Crowley walking around with his exaggerated swagger while Aziraphale pretended not to watch him.

What - or who - in Heaven - or Hell - had inspired so much love in a high-ranking demon? Gabriel knew Beelzebub loved _someone_ , even if they wouldn’t admit it. He was an archangel, of course he recognized love when it was practically dumped all over him like that. He didn’t even need to be in the same room to recognize it. Just look at Aziraphale, obviously in love with that demon.

Aziraphale was smiling at Crowley’s turned back. He looked sickeningly besotted as he stared at the demon as intently as Beelzebub had been.

Oh.

Oh!

Beelzebub was in love with Crowley.

This would not do.

^j^ ^i^

Beelzebub stalked away from the Observation Room, a scowl firmly set on their face.

 _Angels_. More specifically, _archangels_. A demon, in love? 

No, of course not. Love was for humans. And angels. Stupid Archangel-fucking-Gabriel was probably sensing his own love.

But that didn’t make any sense. Why would Gabriel have said anything about his own feelings? Why had he sounded so surprised? Unless... 

Their steps faltered. 

Gabriel was _in_ love. Angels were notoriously undiscriminating about love and the many ways it manifested, but demons knew loving and being in love could be different things - Hell exploited that difference in humans all the time. Gabriel probably _didn’t_ know the difference.

So who was Gabriel in love with?

Beelzebub thought it over. They had been keeping an eye on him while they watched Crowley. Crowley was very boring to watch - it was all yelling at plants and spending time with the renegade angel, Azipheral or whatever his name was, trying to hide the fact that he wanted to stare at said angel all the time by hardly looking at him at all - and that left plenty of opportunity for Beelzebub to see Gabriel’s face reflect every thought that crossed his mind. He was obviously just as bored watching the pair as Beelzebub was; in fact he paid more attention to Crowley than Azilaphael, completely ignoring the purpose of their joint surveillance. 

Wait.

He hardly looked at him, just like...

That could mean...

Gabriel was in love with Azipporahiel and was deeply ashamed of it and trying to deny it. So he was ignoring Azipperphale even as he made it a point to keep track of his whereabouts and activities. Beings in love often acted irrationally. 

Well, they could not allow this. It would jeopardize everything Heaven and Hell were trying to accomplish, such as the new Great Plan*. Steps had to be taken.

> *As soon as they came up with one.

They continued their descent into Hell.

“My Lord Beelzebub,” one of the Erics greeted them at the bottom of the escalator with a bow. His face fell when he noticed Beelzebub was alone. “Eric...is coming later?”

“No,” they said and pushed past him. They had more important things to worry about.

It was time to have a little chat with Crowley, demon to demon.

^j^ ^i^

A.Z. Fell and Co. was technically open for business, but potential customers found themselves remembering urgent errands almost as soon as they considered entering the premises.

Inside, Gabriel snapped his fingers. The door locked itself, the sign on it flipped to read ‘CLOSED’, and dusty window shades covered the windows, further darkening the already dim shop.

“Gabriel,” Aziraphale said warily, his hands clasped in front of him. His eyes darted around the shop.

“Relax, I’m not here to carry out your punishment*.” 

> *At least not until they came up with a way to do it.

“How reassuring. Why _are_ you here?” 

Gabriel couldn’t quite put his finger on what seemed different about Aziraphale, but it didn’t really matter. He had more important business. “I’ve come to speak to you about the demon Crowley.”

“Oh? What about him?” Aziraphale crossed over to an ornate wooden desk and sat down. He took a delicate sip from a small cup of steaming liquid.

“Don’t you think it’s time you acted on your feelings for him?”

Aziraphale began to cough. Gabriel frowned. That was the proper way to ingest hot liquids? The whole process was absurd and he firmly resolved once again never to sully the temple of his body with gross matter.

“I’m sorry, my what?” Aziraphale said when he could speak again.

“You’re in love with the demon Crowley, are you not? So if you could just move things along, I would appreciate it.”

“I see.” Aziraphale regarded him thoughtfully. “Move things along how?”

“I don’t know, tell him you’re in love with him.” Did he have to do all of the work?

“And what do you suppose will happen then?”

“I don’t know, whatever it is that humans do when they’re in love. Sex, isn’t it?”

“But we are not human.” Aziraphale sipped more of his liquid. He did not cough this time.

Gabriel waved his hand dismissively. “Semantics.”

“I do question some of your assumptions.”

“Assumptions? I deal only in facts.”

Aziraphale held up one finger. “Assumption one, that I am in love with Crowley.”

Gabriel snorted and Aziraphale blushed.

“Very well, that one is correct, though it really is none of your business.” He held up another finger. “Assumption two, that Crowley will, shall we say, react positively to a confession of my feelings.”

“He’d be a fool not to. He’s cut off from Hell, just as you are cut off from Heaven. Where else will he find companionship? With a human? He’s with you almost all the time anyway.”

“Ah, forced proximity. Just the thing to base a relationship upon.”

“I have learned that it is possible for demons to love, if you feel such a thing is necessary,” Gabriel said impatiently.

“An absolute necessity, I’m afraid. Assumption three, that Crowley and I are interested in changing the state of our current relationship.”

“What would be different? Less covert longing glances?”

“And physical intimacy, according to you. Something else that is none of your business.”

“I don’t give a fuck if you have sex or not, just tell him you love him!”

“Why?”

What could Gabriel say? That he wanted Crowley’s unavailability made very plain, as if Beelzebub was not already aware of it? That he wanted to destroy the demon, even though it was impossible, but Gabriel wasn’t going to discorporate him and give him a reason to return to Hell and spend time around Beelzebub? This plan was not very good, but it was the best he could come up with. Maybe if Beelzebub saw Crowley was firmly out of reach, they would stop loving him. It was very important to Gabriel that Beelzebub stopped loving Crowley, because…

“Because*.” 

> *Because _reasons_.

“Well, I shall take everything you’ve said into consideration. It’s time you were off, don’t you agree?”

Gabriel found himself being inexorably escorted from the bookshop, but he didn’t try to fight it.

That hadn’t gone quite the way he’d planned.

^j^ ^i^

“I need to talk to you.” Beelzebub waited impatiently for Crowley to stop flailing before continuing. “The archangel Gabriel izz in love with your angel. What are you going to do about it?”

“Arch- My ang- What are you on about?” Crowley sauntered over to his throne and flopped down into it, one leg thrown over the arm. “And while you’re answering questions, what in Hell are you doing here?”

“I repeat, the archangel Gabriel izz in love with your angel. Azzipaphiel. What are you going to do about it?”

“Aziraphale.”

“Did you just sneeze?”

“No, that’s his na- What makes you think that git is in love with my- Aziraphale? And why do you care?”

“I have my wayzz. And I don’t care, I just don’t want thizz to get in the way of the Great Plan.”

“Got a new one already, have you?”

“That izz none of your concern, traitor.”

“Oh, you don’t actually have one yet. That’s a relief.” Crowley shifted until he was slouched in a somewhat upright position and laced his fingers over his middle. “Now that’s been established, why should I care if Git-briel is in love? That’s nothing to me. Or Aziraphale.”

“Do you think Aza- your angel wouldn’t jump at the chanzze to return to Heaven?”

“I know he wouldn’t. What’s this really all about?”

Beelzebub abruptly turned away and went to look out the window. “The Plan-”

“Oh come on! I know we’re all liars, demons are, but you’ve got to know the truth before you can tell a lie really convincingly. You, my dear Prince of Hell, are not being very convincing.”

"You love the angel."

"And you’ve changed the subject.” Crowley muttered, then sighed. “I suppose I should deny it, but what would be the point?"

"Demonzz cannot love."

"That almost sounded like a question. It wasn't completely burned out of us, I think. It just doesn’t feel like it did Before.”

Beelzebub said nothing.

"In love, are you?" Crowley asked idly, then he sat up abruptly. "Not with Gabriel?"

They glared at Crowley, but did not deny it.

“The Prince of Hell and the archiest of God’s archangels,” Crowley snickered. “Well I can’t say you two don’t deserve each other.”

“Pay attention. He’zz in love with Azz- your angel.”

Crowley waved a hand dismissively. “I doubt it. And even if he is, Aziraphale doesn’t love him.”

“Becauzze you think he lovezz you?”

Crowley opened his mouth, but nothing came out. 

The phone began to ring.

Without breaking eye contact with Beelzebub, Crowley snapped his fingers and the answering machine began to play its message. “ _Crowley here. Bore me and you will be deleted. Choose your words wisely._ ”

“ _Crowley, it’s me,_ ” Aziraphale said, his voice filling the room. “ _I’ve just had a rather odd visit from Gabriel. Please come round the shop as soon as you are able. It does seem rather important._ ” There was a click and silence reigned once more.

Beelzebub lifted a brow. Crowley scoffed. “Archangels in love don’t try to immolate their beloved in hellfire*.” 

> *They might, if their beloved happens to be a demon and they're exploring ethereal/occult kink. What goes on behind closed doors between an archangel and a demon is their own business and really, this is all hypothetical.

“Love cauzezz irrational behavior.”

“Irrational? That waved at irrational as it flew past it at the speed of light.” Crowley stood up and pulled his sunglasses out of an inner pocket of his jacket. “If you’ll excuse me?”

“No,” Beelzebub said. “Not until you agree to keep the angel away from Gabriel.”

“More like keep Gabriel away from Aziraphale.”

“Very well. Do what you muzzt. Don’t kill him.”

“Oh, for Someone’s sake, I was joking. Gabriel _is not_ in love with Aziraphale. You have nothing to worry about there. I’m going. See yourself out, won’t you?”

Beelzebub wasn’t quite ready to let him leave. “You love the angel, but can he love you?”

Crowley barely paused on his way out the door. “I know he does.”

Beelzebub left, not entirely sure what the purpose of their visit had been or if that purpose had been fulfilled. They were so distracted, they didn’t even tip over any of Crowley’s plants before they left.

^j^ ^i^

Gabriel turned when the door of the Observation Room opened behind him. Beelzebub walked in.

“Excellent, you received my message.”

“Yezz.” They came to stand next to him.

“Aziraphale has summoned Crowley to his shop. This may be the meeting we’ve been expecting.” Gabriel suspected - hoped - they would be witnessing the results of his visit. It was possible Beelzebub was about to learn the demon they loved was out of reach. How did one console a demon?

“Perhapzz.” They were already focused on the scene taking place on the glass before them.

Gabriel snapped and they could hear what Aziraphale and Crowley were discussing.

Aziraphale handed Crowley a cup of tea, then took a seat in an overstuffed armchair. “I had a very strange encounter with Gabriel today,” he said.

Gabriel winced. Why had Aziraphale mentioned him? Wouldn’t the demon suspect him of betrayal of some kind? He glanced at Beelzebub, who did not react. 

“Speaking of strange encounters, I had a visit from the one and only Prince of Hell.” Crowley took a sip of tea and then set his cup on a small table next to the couch he was seated upon.

Beelzebub went rigid.

“You don’t seem much the worse for wear. I assume they didn’t er, try anything?”

“No, they just went on about Gabriel being in love with you and wanted to know what I was going to do about it.”

Beelzebub began to hum furiously.

“In love with _Aziraphale?_ ” Gabriel asked.

“In love with _me?_ ” Aziraphale said at the same time. “Certainly not. In love with someone, though. If I am correct, he’s in love with someone he believes to be in love with _you_.”

If there was any justice, Gabriel thought, God would strike them both dead that very moment. 

“Oh?”

“Yes. He, ah, he wanted me to confess my feelings for you. He was quite determined I should do so.”

“Now what are the odds that you get a visit from on high and I get one from the lowest of the low on the same day, and _love_ is the main topic of conversation?”

“Wouldn’t it be strange if Gabriel was in love with Beelzebub?” Aziraphale smiled and took a sip of his tea. 

Gabriel crossed his arms and refused to look at Beelzebub.

“It would make things easier. Beelzebub’s in love with Gabriel.”

The humming intensified.

“Isn’t that interesting?” Aziraphale drank more of his tea, then set it down with a determined air. “Crowley, I must apologize.”

“For what, angel?” Crowley picked up a random book and started paging through it idly.

“For...well, Gabriel learned of my feelings- my love for you before you did.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, angel. I already knew.” He looked up from the book and smirked. “Wouldn’t mind hearing it now, though.”

“Oh, you wily old serpent. I do love you.”

Crowley tossed the book aside and sauntered over to Aziraphale. He pulled the angel to his feet. “I really don’t have a leg to stand on in the outrage department anyway. I admitted to Beelzebub that I love you.”

Aziraphale smiled. “I had hoped you did.” He leaned forward and gave Crowley a chaste kiss on the mouth.

Gabriel snorted and turned away, only to find Beelzebub staring at him. Love radiated from their entire being.

“Demonzz do not love,” they said, a challenge in their voice.

Gabriel didn’t bother to dispute their words. “The idea that I, an archangel, would be in love with a demon is absurd.” Not technically a lie, so he was in the clear.

“Then we are agreed, we are not in love.”

“Obviously.” He turned back to the wall, where Aziraphale and Crowley were now kissing passionately. He didn’t say anything when Beelzebub moved closer, close enough that their shoulders were touching, and Beelzebub didn’t say anything when Gabriel took their hand in his.

With barely a pause, Aziraphale and Crowley both gestured and a curtain was drawn across the scene, blocking them from view.

**Author's Note:**

> Smited? Smote? Smitten? At this point, I don't care.


End file.
